Ruminations

What an intense couple of weeks it has been! Finalizing plans for summer, making arrangements for things here in Kuwait, and trying to get ready for next year.

This week in particular has been very rough and I reach the end of it feeling pretty down. On Monday evening one of the couples here experienced the tragic loss of their 4 month-old son. The mother’s mother was watching him while his parents were at work (they teach in the middle school and high school here with me) and apparently had a seizure when she was holding him. She dropped him and the mother returned to find both of them lifeless on the floor of their apartment. Someone tried CPR on the infant, but to no avail. The grandmother was hospitalized. Everyone in this community (even if we didn’t really know them) have been devastated by this tragedy. A heavy pall has hung over the school all week.

In addition, I’ve had friends asking me how a God who is active in the world today could allow such a freak accident to happen. It is complicated by the fact that they don’t really believe in God themselves, but are trying to find some explanation or rationalization, I didn’t have much to offer. I was asking some of the same questions myself. I find the response to unexpected deaths here in a Muslim culture to be quite similar to Christian response: Inshallah or God wills it.

Then today was the Grade 5 “Moving On” ceremony and since I taught all of them I found it a little emotional. Crying in public is not something you see much of here, so I had to hide and try to rein it in. Knowing I won’t see these kids again makes me rather sad, even if they were sometimes bratty or whiney.

Packing up and leaving is also added to the plate as many of these people I may never see again. With those whom I am close, I will keep in touch. This is such an odd little world: international educators. It is a very transient bunch who move all over the world, and yet it seems to be a community where paths cross again and again.

This experience changes you (or at least, me). I am finding it difficult to imagine living in the US again any time soon. I try to keep up with the news from there on a daily basis, and the news coming from America puts me off of any eagerness to return. However, family and close, wonderful friendships are reason enough at this point!

Last in this litany of self-pity, I have met some people who are not international educators, but are expats who are working here in Kuwait. I feel like I am just getting to know some of them and now will be gone and out of the loop for 2 months. So much can change in two months and I don’t know what (or perhaps, who is a better word) I will find upon my return.

Upon reading this over, I decided I couldn’t end on such a pitiful note. I got a good night’s sleep (which always helps), did some yoga and have more on tap to do, and will have dinner tonight with Kelly. I plan to pack up a few things this weekend for storage over the summer, and haul down my suitcase to begin packing for Spain and then home! Yippee!

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. janice
    Jun 06, 2014 @ 13:04:02

    When will I see you!! Can’t wait to hear about your adventure in person!

    Reply

  2. LIZ MITCHELL
    Jun 06, 2014 @ 17:45:23

    Pam, awaiting your return to the States and the opportunity to visit with you….so far, let me know when you are able to come and sit in my garden for an afternoon….or even supper.

    Liz Mitchell

    Reply

  3. adriannedawn
    Jun 08, 2014 @ 01:38:44

    I’m so excited for Spain!!! And to hug you again!!!

    Reply

  4. ebhoel
    Jun 09, 2014 @ 14:31:40

    Sending many hugs your way for safe travels to Spain and then to the States! Wish I could hear all about your adventures in person…take care!

    Reply

  5. Ellen Manning
    Jan 15, 2015 @ 12:15:26

    I was so sorry to read your story about the tragedy you’ve shared with your school community. That is a really tough one to get your brain around. I understand how you’re feeling about coming back though. It’s always hard to leave people you love and have felt connections with. Your world has expanded exponentially and with that your emotions too, so don’t be hard on yourself. You’ll look back and smile because you are living the life you want!! Sending love, hugs and white light your way. Can’t wait to see you!
    Ellen

    Reply

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