Struggles

28 November 2015

Just had a most wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with friends, only to find out that Thom is not returning after Christmas. Maybe I am in a cyclical emotional state, but today I feel deep sadness. Yes, for Thom, but also for all the people I have met here who have left and I miss. I will confess to being rather melancholic for this whole month so forgive me as I give in to it a bit and share my pain.

I have read and shared articles that are much more eloquent than I about the craziness of this come-and-go expat life. Particularly in the international education community where contracts are typically two years this is status quo. Bonds develop at an accelerated pace and can be quite fierce. Then suddenly, that person leaves and takes a little bit of you with them. Thankfully, they also leave a little bit of themselves behind…dishes, clothes, plants, and of course, memories. Thankful for those.

As I am here longer, I find I am missing the people – family and friends from home more and more. While I am very much trying to live into the moments here and make this home, it is temporary so it is more just where I live now. I can see why people buy stuff, trying to create a more homey environment and instill themselves into their place. I, too, have succumbed a bit, in spite of my proclamations about downsizing. Ack!

All this to say, I am inordinately excited about being home for Christmas and also sorrowful in the knowledge of those who will not be returning. Tears.

11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Carol Gary
    Nov 29, 2015 @ 20:34:25

    I can not imagine how unsettling it would be to be a long time ‘temporary’. Sending hugs your way and praying that your time home will fill you up with all you need to continue on the path set before you….

    Reply

    • allaboardforadventure
      Nov 30, 2015 @ 01:40:56

      Thanks, Carol. I’ve really done well until this year. I guess the constant leavings just wear you down after awhile. My son is graduating from college and that was the incentive for coming home for the holiday. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers!

      Reply

  2. Ellen Manning
    Nov 29, 2015 @ 23:06:38

    Awwww. You’re living your dream Pam, and you’re a better person and teacher for it! Hang in there and know you are beloved by many people:)

    Reply

  3. Jena
    Nov 30, 2015 @ 01:17:45

    Sending lots and lots of cyber-hugs!! ((()))) Hope these hold you a little until we can hug in reality!

    Reply

  4. Alice Bradshaw
    Nov 30, 2015 @ 18:36:45

    So glad you get to go home for Christmas! I can empathize with your struggle. Transitions in what I’ve grown comfortable with and who I’ve grown comfortable with leave me feeling discombobulated and frustrated. I love keeping up-to-date with what you’re doing!

    Reply

    • allaboardforadventure
      Dec 01, 2015 @ 01:27:45

      Thanks, Alice. I love seeing what you’re up to as well. It appears life is good for you. I suspect it is true for most everyone to feel rather discombobulated (I love that word!) with change, and that is ever so much what I signed up for in doing this. Sometimes it just helps to vent. 🙂

      Reply

  5. stndglss
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 03:21:44

    what’s your Dec. plan? graduation timing, trans from and to airport, WUNC?
    will there be time for sweet, dear old friends? I am sorry bout Thom.

    Reply

  6. adriannderson
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 23:59:24

    I AM SO EXCITED THAT YOU’RE COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!! All the cyber hugs until the real hugs. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    Reply

  7. Sharon Updike
    Mar 23, 2016 @ 20:27:14

    I sure do miss getting these updates and pictures….

    Reply

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